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I wrote this in May.  Nothing has changed:

November 27, 2009

The saga of the upstairs neighbors began with me moving out of the big upstairs apartment and into the cheaper and more private little studio on the first floor.  My old roommates were temporarily staying there until the landlord was ready to gut and renovate the apartment.  The idiots, as I like to refer to them, were a bit noisy, but it was temporary.  Eventually they left and the apartment was renovated.  The noise from the reno didn't really affect me since I worked when the workmen were there, plus the only part of the upstairs apartment over my head was the kitchen and a little sun room.

Then Andrew and his dad moved in.  They were awesome.  I never heard any excessive noise from them.  They were pleasant, quiet, and good neighbors.  I was spoiled.  They lived there for two years, then moved out and "the boys" moved in.  Loud, raucous, obnoxious, impolite... and those were the good points.  Eventually, they settled down and the noise wasn't too bad.  Still, I was glad when they moved out.  I should have quit while I was ahead.

Enter the new neighbors.  I was initially told it would be a mom and her two young kids.  Well, it ended up being a mom with the heaviest footsteps in the world, a dad who gets up early, two kids who apparently never sleep, and what sounds to be a pterodactyl. No, I'm not kidding.  They have a bird up there that HAS to have a wingspan of 10 feet or more, for all the noise it makes.  The first time I heard it, I thought someone was being strangled.  No.  It was the "bird".  And the "bird" squawks for hours in the evening, which freaks out my cat.  My cat, who I must say, is extremely quiet and only annoys me.  Right now, they are ballroom dancing (I think it's the quickstep) whilst the pterodactyl calls for its mate and the kids practice their gymnastics... all in the kitchen.  Over my head.  Bastards.

Now, in November, there are at least two MORE people up there.  They yell, stomp, bounce, dance, listen to loud music, and apparently have no idea that doors can be closed once they are open.  Really, I do not like them.  I want them to go away.  Now.  Please.

An Open Letter to an Internet Cyber-Bully

Dear Lost Soul,

I would imagine that few people care about your ridiculous rantings. You really should get a life and a hobby that doesn't involve internet harassment or posting people's personal information (their real name, where they live, where they work, etc.) on your little "blogs of hate."

I have protected you on my message board throughout the years; removing inflammatory posts about you, removing pictures that were posted, removing personal information about you, telling my members that posting hateful things about you was unacceptable and I am repaid by your doing the exact same thing to me that you complain was and is being done to you (and not by me, I have never posted as much as your name).  You have decided that I am the keeper of all people I have come into contact with in the food blog world and whenever one of "them" displeases you, you threaten to "ruin my life."  I am not my sister's keeper.  I do not control what people do.  I only have control over what I do.  You are not discussed on my message board or on my website nor will you be, with the exception of this open letter.  Life is too short to worry about your behavior.  I'm too busy trying to live my life according to the way that God would want me to. 

The things that you have written about me are so beyond the pale.  You have commented on my religion, spouting horrific anti-Semitic comments (and for the record, not that it matters, but I am not Jewish), my weight, my appearance, my sexual preference (which you also seem to be mistaken about), my education (again, you are mistaken about my level of education), written about your "concern" for the people I come into contact with at my job... it would be funny if it wasn't so darned sad.  And all this hate from you simply because I don't think that Sandra Lee is a culinary genius.  Wow.  That's all, just wow.

I'm sorry that your life is so devoid of any real pleasure that you have to resort to behavior like this. Lonely twelve year olds do this, high school bullies do this. Adults should not. Yet you do. And that concerns me because I am a compassionate person by nature.   Good luck in your life.

Lynne